Postcard
by Gage93
Summary: New Years fic. Companion to "By the Light".


**A/N:** For aninom, who wanted a New Years fic, and who deserves one. I hope you enjoy it. Follows _By the Light._

 **Disclaimer:** Still not mine.

 **Postcard**

Sometimes she dreams in black and white. The world around her is in silhouette. People have a soft glow around them. There is a stark contrast between everything else. The decisions she makes are either right or wrong, but never both. How simple that would be if it were ever true, if the thought of such a world was not stretching the limits of imagination.

Seattle is a city that could exist in black and white, like a faded photograph from years gone by. It is one of the most beautiful cities she has ever been in. It has not the romance or history of Paris and could never overtake that city in her heart, but it is lovely and holds its own romance. With the soft snow falling along the waterfront and over the Great Wheel, lit by the light of it and the lights of the pier, it almost feels as though she has stepped back in time, back into an old, faded, monochromatic photograph.

Gilbert has a soft glow about him. The snow falling on his uncovered head shines beneath the lights. There is a shimmer on the placid water of the Sound. She doesn't tell him, but it is Seattle's waterfront and the Ferris wheel that had her suggesting and subtly pushing for Seattle for the holidays. She wanted this moment. Not so long ago, she had thought she would never be here again, not in the city, but with him. They had traveled a long, difficult road to get here, had endured more than any person should, but somehow, they had arrived. Grissom had confessed to being so surprised to see her show up at his boat in San Diego, to see her give up her newly acquired position to be with him, as though he had never, in his mind, expected such a thing to happen. He had let her go, had forced himself to make peace with that, but she hadn't been able to do the same, not when she still loved him, not when she discovered that he still loved her.

She stands next to him, adjacent to the Great Wheel. The Ferris wheel is turning slowly, giving New Years revellers a view of the city. Sara grips Grissom's hand and looks up at it. There are a few people in line for the next ride, but Sara feels no need to join them. They have a spot reserved, their own cabin to themselves, and the view of the sound from where they are is much better than in line, where it is obstructed by the structure that makes up the Great Wheel. Soon they will be called and they can join the line. Soon they will sit and enjoy the festivities from high above the water. It will be a new year, the turning of the calendar, a symbol of a new beginning. It will not be their fresh start though. That had occurred a few months ago and Sara does not want another. They've had too many new beginnings up to this point. It was time for something different, some stability in their relationship.

For the first time in their long relationship, it feels as though they are really communicating. They've made an effort before, but too many metaphors and too many misunderstood silences had come in their way. Now it is time to make sure the other understands because it is too important and Sara cannot lose him again. She will not sacrifice him for anything, but for his own happiness, and thankfully, she does not have to. His happiness, somehow, still lies with her.

Sara shivers and Grissom pulls her against him chest, wrapping his arms around her. He kisses her crown as she stares out at the water. It is so calm and peaceful and sometimes she has to pinch herself to when she realizes how lucky she is to live on it, and with Grissom. Since their reunion, he has confessed that he chose his current position with her in mind. He has chosen something she is passionate about and he has grown to become passionate about. In his mind, it was a way to give her an option away from the lab, a path that they could travel together. The only problem was that he had never told her and she had never realized. She had been the more passionate one about the ocean and had she known that he went his route with her in mind, they could have saved themselves both so much pain. Instead, she had thought he he'd been continuing to move on from her. He had thought she was choosing the lab and the safety and security of it over the unknown variable of him. So many misunderstandings had led to so much pain.

Once the misunderstandings had been cleared up, though not black and white, the choice had been easy. Her promotion to lab director was flattering, but that was nearly all. It had made her proud to prove that should was an outstanding CSI and good and stable leader, but it wasn't something she had aspired to. It had seemed a natural progression, so when DB had suggested she apply, she did. She had been a passionate CSI, but she wasn't sure she would be a passionate administrator. There was value in it, sure, but it did not drive her. She had not coveted it. There had only been one thing that she had ever coveted with any passion or intensity and that was Grissom. She had never been able to move on from him. He is the love of her life. She had loved him with everything that was in her, and had learned that she always will. All other passions, she can transfer. She does not need to be a CSI or a lab director to fulfill her soul or to do good. Her passion for justice can be served by finding justice for some of Earth's most vulnerable creatures, her passion for finding the truth, the same. Her passion for the ocean and its inhabitants need no transfer. The decision may not be absolute, but it was the decision her heart has made, would make, every time. When it came down to it, all they had needed to do was communicate, to say, "This is what I want." That is all it did take.

Grissom lets go of her and she is pulled from her thoughts. She catches the breeze that he had been blocking and shivers. She turns to look at him, a question in her eyes. He is looking at her with a slightly apprehensive smile and she gives him a soft smile in reassurance. They are announcing that they will be loading the reservations for the midnight ride soon and Sara realizes it is the second announcement that has been made. She had missed the first, so lost in her thoughts she'd been. Grissom slips his hand into hers and tugs her towards the line.

His thumb rubs circles over the back of her hand. It is another change, this demonstrativeness. He has always liked touching her, but it was something they never did in public. In public, it was something they snuck in, these subtle grazes. Even after they had married, it seemed the habit had stuck and except for a few intimate moments while walking the streets hand in hand in Paris, every touch in public felt stolen. Now, it is light, steady contact, nothing showy, but always steady. Perhaps he is responding for her need to remain in contact with him. For the past few months, she hasn't been able to stop touching him either. Now, he holds her hand to keep their connection. Nobody watching would know that this had once been rare, that this man had spent more time in his past trying not to touch her than allowing himself to do so.

Standing in line, Sara grips his hand and leans against him. Her other hand comes up to rub at his midsection, just to touch, even if he will barely be able to feel it through his layers. As each bench stops to load couples and the Ferris wheel spins a half turn, loading more couples, Sara and Grissom inch closer, not just to the front of the line but to each other. When there is only one group left before them, Sara feels Grissom take a deep breath. She grins up at him. "Are you ready?"

At his nod she faces him and wraps her free arm around his waist and gives him a little nudge with her body. "Come on, it will be fun."

"I'm sure it will," he tells her and he sounds sincere. Still, she can't help but tease him.

"Not really up to your speed, is it?"

Grissom lets out a small guffaw. "It will be fine. Riding it with you will get my heart pumping."

It stuns her, how he can still manage to sometimes leave her speechless. He knows he does this; his smirk tells her so, but his eyes are also sincere and that keeps her from giving him another playful shove. Instead, she burrows into him and watches as the couple in front of her step onto their reserved gondola. Sara's hand slips from Grissom's hand and she presses it against his chest. Beneath it, she can feel his heart beating, a steady staccato.

The wheel barely spins, only moves one gondola, and they can get on. Grissom follows her, his hand now on the small of her back. He sits close to her on the bench, one arm around her back, the other on his lap. Sara snuggles into him. She looks over at the few other couples that have yet to get on. As the wheel spins them all the way to the top and stops, Sara leans her cheek against Grissom's shoulder and looks out around them. The reflections of the city lights are shimmering over the water of Puget Sound. The Space Needle is lit up in the distance. Snow is falling and glowing in the night air. The buildings are silhouettes, their lights lighting the black. It is like a postcard. It is beautiful.

It takes but a few more minutes until all of the couples are loaded and the ride can start. All these other couples are doing the same thing. They are not unique, but their story is, because it is theirs alone and theirs to discover alone. They are like all other couples and unlike any other. The Great Wheel spins and turns, like all the seasons of their lives. The countdown to midnight is on. Sara presses her side into Grissom's warmth and stares out at the beauty around and below her. The New Year announces itself and there are fireworks all around them, going off over the water, so many beautiful colours erupting in stark contrast to the black and golden world of the night. Sara tips her head up and Grissom kisses her, soft and lingering. It is a commitment. Sara cups his cheek and returns his kiss. Her lips slide from his and she gazes at him. "Happy New Year, Gil."

He kisses her again.

Happy New Year


End file.
